RockBottom

yeah. so yesterday was the 1st time I've felt my lowest in a very long time. I hit the ground hard and I didn't think there was any recovery from that. But i spoke to a good friend of mine who really told me the truth. I'm not living. I go on day by day miserable because of something i cant control. She told me I'm killing my self over this every night. She was right. She told me I'm holding myself back. She was right (again). She told me I'm going to become an old hag and that she wouldn't be able to roll with me. She was right. I love her. But anyways. I beat myself up every night, losing sleep, waiting and thinking and crying. I feel outside of myself. I look in the mirror and don't recognize me sometimes. Its crazy how one can transform from an independent person, to a dependent pathetic feeble person. I'm not dependent and i refuse to go on like I am. Its gon be hard. But i have my own life to live. Your are your life and thats it. Live it wisely.