Epiphany

Just sitting here thinking and talking to a great friend of mine.

A couple realizations of the night:

1. I love Nico =]
2. Emarosa went into my head, took my thoughts, and put them to music. BEST BAND EVER.
3. I'm am a hopeless romantic. The little shit DOES count. I like the little slip ins of I LOVE YOU's and YOUR BEAUTIFUL even when i look and feel like ass. The impromptu dates to random little places. Soft kisses, soft touches. Too bad the ONE I'm with doesn't see it the same. Maybe it ends after the first few months. I thought it took years like with old married couples. Guess not. Only been like 16 months (translates to a year and 4 months but whose counting) but damn this shit ended like after the 11Th month....shit sucks.
4. My mental stability left when HE did. I find myself outside of myself sometimes. I like it and i don't. Weird.
5. I think a lot of girls look for the absent love of their fathers... within their boyfriends. NOT HEALTHY. Because when they leave... and start doing them, its EASY (as 1.2.3.) to feel neglected and unwanted. That eventually leads to them looking for that love in other boys. And its down hill from there.
6. We, as human beings, give the power to anyone and everyone to validate our existence. It could be the most disgusting, vile person and we give it up so easy. Maybe in impossible not to. Because when you think about it, if you don't, you wont feel like you really exist unless someone says you do.
7. Music saves a little of my sanity. Clears my thoughts.. Well helps explain them.

And last but not least

    

     8.  You are your life. And nothing else. Make it worth while.

g'nite...again....foreal this time...i think

=]

Oh yeah...a little bit of EMAROSA for ya. JUST A LITTLE BIT.

HEADS OR TAILS REAL OR NOT

You loved it when my heart dropped

You paused, stopped, and walked away

Full of content that it went your away

These cuts that I've caused

Are never too deep to heal

Peel back the bandage , see the scars

From countless careless things

Feel yourself drifting, pulled away

Well, nothing feels real anymore

Im not taking my time anymore

TO show you how i feel 

TO show you who i am

Cause its locked away