Inflated Infatuation

Seems like as time goes by, "love" is getting more common. Remember when the avg. relationship was like 2 weeks and one would get "hype" after that 2 week mark? Then it jumped to 5 months and that's when sex became part of the equation, like there was some type of deadline. Now it seems like everyone is together for at least a year. This makes me think that the 1 year mark is not as special and shouldn't be treated as such. This also makes staying in a relationship harder. You see, if every one's getting into relationships and its lasting a year it makes it seem like anyone could do it. Thus giving off the impression that love is common thing and if you lose it now you could get it back. THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE. I think if you find love now, and not love by society's standards, but love by YOUR standards, you should stick with it and make an effort towards it. Its a beautiful thing with all its flaws and deformities. The whole "pimp" thing is overrated. Been there. Done that. Took pictures. Came back and smacked you with them. It doesn't feel the same as having that one that you know you can go to with anything on looking like anything and saying anything. Also there's no stability in it. Not saying that there's stability in a relationship cause when you really think about it there isn't that's why people cheat. But there's a false sense of stability that's feels INCREDIBLE. Love is one of those undefined words that you just can't really grasp. It changes you. IT CAN (and most likely will if its true love) DRIVE YOU CRAZY. Love reminds me of a class in school. In the beginning its easy and smooth rolling. But as time goes on and you get deeper into the class you get more tests and the tests get harder. Love is just like that. IT TESTS YOU EVERY CHANCE IT GETS. And the tests get harder and bigger and the stakes are raised. One good thing about love is that it teaches you morals. Right from Wrong. Teaches you valuable lessons.......... Sitting here eating Chinese food writing this blog makes me wonder about my own situation. In all my relationships (not many), I never had to rely on sheer faith to keep us together. Its a scary thing too. With the situation being as it is (he's away at college), I get scared everyday that it might be the day things end. I mean with him being "busy" with whatever he's doing, i don't really get a good fair chance to speak to him. Its easy for me to feel as if I'm being pushed aside. I don't really say much. I don't want to be a burden but sheesh can a sister feel some type of love over here (seriously). I'm not used to being away from him for such a long time and i don't think he understands how deep it cuts. Like I've spoke to his brother more (whose down north Carolina (LOVE YOU RAY!) and left earlier than him) than i have him. I mean he says "i love you" and "i miss you" and i believe him but i mean i guess we're just at different levels of "love" and "miss". Cant force anyone to see things your way i guess. All i want is to feel as if he never left, if that's even possible. If it isn't, then just give me, for a split second (OK maybe more than that), the peace of mind that things will be OK. Oh yeah and to add on to the freaking anxiety of that, I'm going off to college my self next year. LIKE WTF WILL HAPPEN THEN!!!???!!! Maybe I'm holding on to strong. Or maybe I'm holding on to something i shouldn't. I don't know but I'm going to continue holding on until my arms fall off. I love him. That much i know. Don't know where I'll end up, but i know in the end it'll be a lesson learned. (I LOVE HIM 6-3-07)